Kingdom News: I want to live

Next week, we’re setting off on an adventure. We’ve jokingly called it our Alice in Wonderland trip, because sometimes life becomes so serious that you have to deliberately choose wonder again. Just our family. Some of us. No agendas. No deadlines. No pressure. Just memories.

I have the incredible privilege of taking my mama back to the United Kingdom. We haven’t travelled together in almost ten years.
As I think about that, I can’t help but smile. Maybe this isn’t just another holiday.

Maybe God has been quietly writing this chapter all along. Perhaps He knew we would need these moments before we ever did.
I believe our Father delights in making memories with His children.

But if I’m honest… I am tired.

Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes. The kind of tired that settles deep inside your soul after you’ve carried too much for too long. The kind that whispers, “Just survive another day”.

Yet somewhere beneath the weariness is another voice crying out…“God, I want to live.”

Not merely exist. Not simply make it through. I want to notice sunsets again. I want to laugh until my stomach hurts. I want to be fully present with the people I love. I want to feel the wind on my face and thank God for another day.

David understood that kind of desperation. His prayers weren’t polished. They were honest.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him.” (Psalm 42:11).

“How long, Lord? Will You forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1)

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18).

David didn’t hide his pain from God. He poured it out. Somehow, in the middle of the tears, he kept reaching for hope. That’s where I find myself today.

Reaching. Not because I have all the answers. Not because I feel strong. But because I know the One who holds tomorrow.

Maybe your breakthrough won’t arrive as one dramatic moment. Maybe it begins with taking a walk. Sharing a meal.
Holding someone’s hand. Laughing with your family.

Watching your children play. Looking up at the sky and remembering that God has never stopped writing your story. So this trip isn’t just about seeing beautiful places.

It’s about remembering that life is still beautiful. It’s about allowing my soul to breathe again. It’s about believing that rest is holy, joy is healing, and God still restores weary hearts.

If your heart is tired today, can I remind you of this? You don’t have to have it all together. You only have to keep bringing your heart to the Father.

He has never been intimidated by desperate prayers. And perhaps the greatest miracle isn’t that God meets us once we are strong.

Perhaps it’s that He comes so close while we are still whispering…“Father… I want to live.” “He restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:3). And He will. (VICKY LUDICK)

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