My story is one of destruction, loss and ultimately, recovery. It all began on 28 December 2006 when I first used Tik. What I thought was a brief escape quickly turned into an intense high that lasted five days and from that moment, my life slowly started spiralling out of control. Over the next 10 years, I became trapped in addiction that dictated my every move.
At first it was occasional use, but within six months I was completely hooked. I could no longer function normally. My daily rhythm, my responsibilities, and eventually my entire life were controlled by drugs.
At the time, I worked for an airline company based in Qatar. It was a good job that allowed me to travel the world, but I lost interest in everything I once valued. Eventually, I lost that position and with it, my stability and purpose.
When I returned to Cape Town towards the end of 2009, I did not look for help or work. Instead, I continued down the same destructive path. My addiction grew stronger, but my resources ran out, and I soon found myself completely broken.
My lowest point came in Bellville, where I was searching through rubbish bins just to find something to eat. It was during this period that I also started using heroin, which pushed me even deeper into addiction and despair.
What followed were years of homelessness, living on the streets, moving in and out of prison, and surviving in back alleys. I committed petty crimes simply to sustain my drug use.
Before 2010, I had never been in trouble with the law, but addiction changed everything. I lost the trust of everyone close to me and became completely isolated.
Between 2010 and 2016, I appeared in court 34 times and became a familiar face in correctional facilities. I had nearly lost everything that made me who I was. But then came a turning point. Recovery didn’t happen overnight, but slowly, things began to change. It has now been a decade since I started rebuilding my life. My family never gave up on me, even when I had given up on myself. Their support carried me through when I had nothing left.
Social workers, rehabilitation programmes, and people who showed kindness in my darkest moments all played a role in helping me find my way back.
Most importantly, my faith became the foundation of my recovery. I believe the salvation I found through Jesus Christ gave me strength when I had none left.
Today, I am grateful to say I am sober and rebuilding my life. I am married, and my wife stood by me through the most difficult parts of my journey. Together, we are raising our daughter, born on 28 December 2018 — a date that now represents life, not destruction.
I’ve learned that addiction does not define who you are. With support, determination, and the willingness to change, recovery is possible.
My message is simple: you are not your addiction. There is always a way back. (DENVER DREYER)
New book launched by our Vicky: Known
This book is not about getting it right. It is about being known. KNOWN is a deeply honest testimony of redemption, surrender, and the relentless pursuit of a God who does not let go.
Through brokenness, resistance, failure, and awakening, it traces the quiet and costly journey of a life that fought God and found peace only in surrender. This is not a story of instant victory. It is a foundation story.
A beginning. A testimony of what happens when grace outlasts resistance, when love remains patient, and when a soul finally rests in being known by God. This book sets the tone. The fight comes next.
Known by God
When God first asked me to write KNOWN, I was excited. I sat down and started writing, and before long I was finished. Or at least, I thought I was. I put the manuscript aside for a while, prayed over it, and felt the Lord whisper, “No. That’s not it.” So I went back. I prayed some more.
I added more detail. I worked harder. I invested more hours. Surely now it was enough. Again, the answer came.“No.” This time, the instruction was clear. “I want you to write about everything.” Everything? Lord, it has been ten years. Why now? Why dig up old memories that seem irrelevant?
Why revisit wounds that have long since scarred over? Why expose the parts of my life that I would rather leave hidden? I was tired. I had already poured endless hours into the manuscript. I was emotionally exhausted. And if I am honest, I was shy. Some stories are easier to carry than they are to tell. Yet God would not let me move on. So I obeyed…And what followed was one of the most difficult journeys of my life.
Chapter by chapter, memory by memory, God took me back through places I thought I had already healed from. Some days I sat alone in my office and cried. Some days I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what I was writing. Some days I found myself smiling through tears as I remembered the joy of my salvation and the faithfulness of God in seasons I had almost forgotten.
The deeper I wrote, the more I realised this book was never really about me. It was about Him. It was about a Shepherd who leaves the ninety nine to find the one. The one who wandered. The one who resisted. The one who hid. The one who believed she was too broken, too damaged, too far gone. The one who was me.
Only when I stopped protecting my image and started telling the truth did the chapters begin to come together. Only when I tore my chest open and laid every part of the story before Him did I sense His pleasure resting on the work.
It was painful reading some of those pages out loud to myself.
Painful to remember the thoughts I once entertained. Painful to revisit the person I once was. Yet every chapter left me with the same overwhelming realisation: His grace is far greater than my failures. As I wrote, I saw again how God had changed me from the inside out.
Not through self improvement. Not through willpower. Not through religion. Through love. One chapter in the book, Zambia, tells the story of a place where God called me aside much like He called Moses.“Take off your shoes.”
For weeks, in a small missionary house on a mountain, He met with me. He patiently untangled the lies I had believed. He rewired my crooked thinking. He healed places that were still bleeding. He introduced me to a love so deep and so personal that it changed everything.
It was there that I discovered what it means to be truly known. Not known by people.
Known by God. The beautiful truth of Galatians 4:9 is not that we finally found Him. It is that He found us. “But now that you know God or rather are known by God…” (Gal 4:9, NIV) That is the story of KNOWN.
A God who pursued me when I was running. A God who loved me when I was resisting. A God who saw every ugly, broken, hidden part of my life and still called me His own.
My prayer is that as you read this book, you would discover that no one is too far away for Him to reach. No story is too messy.
No failure is too great. No wound is too deep. Your story may look very different from mine, or perhaps parts of it will feel painfully familiar.
Either way, my prayer is that these pages would awaken something inside of you. That you would begin searching for Him. That you would keep searching for Him.
And somewhere along the journey, discover the breathtaking truth that you were never the one doing the searching.
He had already found you. You are fully known. And fully loved.
About the author:
Vicky Ludick is a wife, writer, theologian, and mother whose life was marked early by addiction, loss, and a deep absence of safety. With no framework for God, no reference point for a father, and no expectation of rescue, her life moved steadily towards destruction.
She became a mother through the improbable and still inexplicable miracle of adoption, a moment that interrupted everything she thought she knew about herself, love, and calling.
What followed was not instant redemption, but years of becoming. Years that included chronic autoimmune illness, painful choices, and a reckoning that would reach far deeper than behavior.
Through it all, there was a call. One that did not loosen its grip.One that no one, believer or not, escapes. Somewhere along the way, Vicky studies law, and for reasons she still finds surprising, theology as well.
Not as proof of arrival, but as part of the long pursuit of truth, order, and meaning in a life that refused to be simple. She is now the mother of seven children (always wanting more).
Her story continues through future books, in which she will write honestly about illness, infidelity, restoration, and the cost of answering a call that will not be silenced. KNOWN is the beginning.
Find me at:
Facebook: Vicky Ludick Ministries
Instagram: @VickyLudickMinistries
YouTube: Vicky Ludick Ministries
Podcast: Rooted & Radiant Blog: Vicky Ludick blog
Book available on Amazon Kindle.