Amy-Joy Murray (27) from Oudtshoorn. Photo: Wyndham Ewerts
By Amy-Joy Murray
IN my youth I used to travel overseas a lot and I was ready for anything coming my way. Before a tragic accident I used to be an energetic, bubbly and outgoing person. Whilst I was in high school in 2000, I was selected to be headgirl of Bridgton Senior Secondary School which to me at that time was the icing on the cake on how my life had progressed … before it all came crashing down. After school I went to study Human Recources Management in the USA at the North Hennipen College in Minnesota.
While I was busy with my studies I submitted my CV to a few government departments in South Africa. On 6 May 2014 I was employed by Social Development. At that time I was 23 years old.
On 23 August 2005 I was excited to report at the service point in Uniondale/Haarlem. On that day my life changed – I was involved in a car accident. Three days after the accident I was flown to Cape Town due to the severity of my injuries.
I was in a coma for six weeks and regained my consciousness in the UCT Private Academic Hospital in Observatory. I had no idea why I was there. I can clearly remember a big bunch of red roses next to my bed. I asked my mother who it belonged to and she informed me it was mine. She also told me about my accident.
I wanted to escape and thought the easiest way out was to go to the bathroom. But I could not move. My mother, Jennifer, then told me I was disabled and had to use a wheelchair.
My whole life came crashing down at that particular moment. It felt as if I was in a nightmare. I was confused and scared and unsure, because I had no idea what had happened to me and why I was there. One day I was on high stilettos and the next I was in sneakers and slippers.
The professor treating me held a meeting with my parents and I, informing us that I would never be able to walk again, be normal or have children. He discussed my severe injuries and told me that I was a living miracle.
I realised that I should be thankful to be alive. There was pain and sadness, but acceptance of my new reality was the most difficult part. To a lot of us change is not something that comes naturally. I had two options – either to fight accepting my new circumstances, or to start on a new page.
I had to make life-changing decisions in the saddest time of my youth. I had severe brain injuries and had lost a kidney as well.
Remarkably I adapted to being left permanently disabled.
I started with rehabilitation at the University of Cape Town, It included fisiotherapy, speech and occupational theraphy. After being hospitalised for six months, I was discharged on 7 January 2006.
At that time my mother was a subject advisor at the Western Cape Education Department in Vredenburg and I decided to move to Vredenburg. During this time I regained mobility to move around without a wheel chair. For three years I received paid leave and in early 2008 I started to work at the local Vredenburg Sassa offices on a fixed term contract.
My life changed for the better on 20 May 2009 when I had a normal delivery and gave birth to my daughter. Until today this remains a highlight in my life. She too had to adapt to having a disabled mommy. One day she told me her friend joked about my disability and she retaliated by telling her “my mother can do anything and she is employed and keeps me neat and plaits my hair, cleans our house, drives her own car and even cooks for us.”
My father, James, always encouraged me to return to Oudtshoorn and in 2013 I resumed my duties at the Oudtshoorn Sassa Centre as a permanent employee. Sadly a month later my father passed away. Today however I am happy surrounded by friends and family.
In my darkest times I learned many lessons.
Change is not always a bad thing in life… It is however important how you handle change. You get a chance to rediscover yourself and start a new chapter. Sometimes you need to go through life- changing experiences to determine your inner strength and abilities. Happiness is always a choice. You cannot wait for your circumstances to get better. You have to create your own good fortune. I am not writing this to be treated in a special way, but I want to encourage anyone to take charge of their own lifes.
I challenge you to walk in my shoes. My life is like shoes. Some days loose and some days tight, but there are days that they just fit right and everything falls into place. There is a reason for my personal challenges and maybe through this story you’ll understand why I do what I do.